Blinded by Darkness

Blinded by Darkness

Have you ever felt so completely lost inside yourself,
that you break down and cry?
And even though it's
a feeling unknown to even you. You can't help but cry.
I wish.....I wish I could say I was crazy and I don't know
what I'm talking about, but I do.
Sometimes the pains and emotions running through my
body are so overwhelming all I can do is cry. No strength
to get up, no will to go on, and no
reason to live.
There are times when I pray that it's my time to go,
but my time has not come.
I crawl inside myself,
searching for an answer, but I only draw a blank. I'm just empty
and black, there's nothing there.



I've forgotten me, I don't know who I am and what
the hell I'm doing or where I'm going,
I've lost the true
meaning of life and who I am. I've gotten so caught up
in everybody else's life that I forgot
I had one too.
I took the plunge. A plunge that has led to self-regret,
self-destruction, and loss of self-control.
I don't know who
I am or where I'm going. I'm lost, trapped inside
a body, a body so black that I'm blinded by darkness
as confusion sets in.

-20th of September, 2001*